I learned that from you
by Alliegirl
Summary: This is an ever growing collection of BL drabbles and one sentence stories
1. Chapter 1

Title: I learned that from you

Author: alliegirl

Rating: PG-PG-13

Summary: This is an every growing collection of BL drabbles and one sentence stories

Author's Note: Due to writers block I've been asking people over at the CW boards to give me writing prompts. These are the BL results of those prompts. They won't all be happy and fluffy and some will be very short, others fairly long.

#01 -Unforgettable

It doesn't matter how many years go by or how many lovers you take, that first love is still there, frozen in time, unforgettable.

#02 -Passionate

He's never been with anyone like her; she's wild, fierce, passionate in all she does, all she loves, and yes, all she hates.

#03 -Romance

She used to tell herself she didn't need romance, that 'having your door opened, sappy love letters, and candle light dinners' crap was for weak women but now that she's had it, she's not sure how she ever settled for less.

#04 –Unconditional love

It's taken years but she finally believes in that epic cliché "unconditional love," she's living proof it exist, no matter what he does or fails to do, says or fails to say, she loves him, without limitation or expectation.

#05 -Undeserving

He's undeserving of her love, years of breaking her heart and betraying her trust have proven that but, he has to keep trying, because the alternative is living life without her and that is not an option

#06 -Final

She walks away from him for the final time and it's as painful as it is liberating.

#07 -Burning

The fire is burning, casting shadows over their entwined bodies, it's warm, intimate, and she is quit certain she'd be happy to stay this way forever

#08 -Hidden

It's exhausting keeping her feelings hidden from everyone around her but she has no choice, they ended a long time ago, and really, even if he were available, she's not so sure he'd be worth the risk.

#09 -Touch

He's coming to realize there were a lot of things he took for granted about Brooke and their relationship, like being able to touch her whenever he wanted, wrap his arms around her and just enjoy being near her.

#10 -Smile

She has a beautiful smile and it hurts to see it directed at someone else, to know that not long ago she was his, and he blew it.

#11 -Passion

He thought he knew what passion was, he'd read about it often enough, but he's learning there are some things you can't know until you experience them.

#12 -Fiery

She standing in front of him, angry as hell and he can't help but smile, he loves her like this, fiery, determined.

#13 –Undeniable love

At present they are not together but it's there and they both know it, that undeniable love that exists between them and probably always will.

#14 -Unsecuring

He laid with her curled up in his arms as they enjoyed the warm summer day, his hands toying with the strings of her bathing suit, debating whether or not to break the tranquility of the moment by unsecuring the knot.

#15 -Hurt

She was surprised at how much it hurt that he'd been so quick to try and use her to forget Peyton, surprised that she wasn't as over him as she'd hoped.

#16 -Angst

She was done with the lost love bs, the angst, the tears, she was better than that and she was coming to realize she was better than him too.

#17 –Possibilities left unexplored

He is married, happily married, he makes sure to remind himself of that every day but there are times he sees her and can only think of all the possibilities left unexplored.


	2. Chapter 2

#18 Risks not taken

Seven years pass before the consequences of all his actions and choices catch up with him. He and Peyton have been divorced four years and he has weekend visitation with Sawyer, who still hasn't adjusted to her broken home, not that he thinks she ever will. Now all he can do is think back on all the mistakes he and Peyton made in their hurry to find forever, never stopping to talk, to work things out, always rushing, rushing, rushing.

He is dropped from his publishing house after a series of complete flops. Lindsey breaks the news as gently as possible, even encourages him to make a fresh start, to try and write about the future rather than the past, or maybe something that doesn't involve his life at all. He smiles and nods, tells her he will give it a try, but that isn't true. The past is all he knows, all he has; he's to scared to attempt anything else.

Haley and Nathan are doing great and he is happy for them, admires them for it, and okay, envies them for it. They haven't had it easy but they've made it work, are always in the process of making it work.

Nathan gave up pro-ball in favor of opening up his own basket ball camp. He's done trying to please his father, done trying to prove himself better than his father and you can see it in the way he walks, it's like a weight has been lifted. He's now taking pleasure and pride in helping to mold young lives, giving needy kids some much needed structure, care, and accountability.

Haley is still teaching, ever encouraging her students to follow their dreams wherever they may go, but she still works on her music, putting out independent CDs -even some for children. She enjoys having her music out there in the world, but has no desire to follow it away from her family.

He is always on the verge of asking them how they manage it, how they come up against things that drive other couples apart and still hold it together. They've built a beautiful life together and there isn't a day that goes by where he doesn't wish he could say the same.

He still keeps in touch with Brooke, has a standing coffee date with her every Thursday in fact. When he and Peyton split Brooke made it clear she wouldn't be taking sides, that she was friends with both of them. He's not sure he'll ever be able to tell her just how grateful he is for her keeping a place for him in her life all these years. They're better friends then they have been...ever.

Brooke is happy and happily married. She balances being a wife and CEO with a grace, strength, dignity, and effectiveness that he doesn't even believe she is aware of. She confides in him that it hasn't been easy to get where she is and it isn't easy keeping it all together but he can tell she wouldn't take back a single moment. She's come to appreciate her success, failure, love, heartbreak, loyalty, and betrayal for the person it's pushed her to become.

They're having coffee one afternoon when Brooke tells him she and Julian are finally getting a child, a little girl from China. She shows him the picture, her face alight with joy, pride, and already, love. In that moment he's struck, surprised with the force of the love he feels for her.

Brooke continues babbling excitedly about the room they have for the little girl, her clothes, the party they'll have once she is settled and feeling secure in her new home. He nods along but isn't listening, all he can do is think about his life and how far it is from the life he always imagined. He's stuck reliving and wishing he could rewrite the past. There are so many roads taken that shouldn't have been, so many risks not taken that should have been.


	3. Chapter 3

#19 -Feelings unexplored or examined

He was feeling sad, lost, and rejected, so he kissed her, used her. He could see the hurt and dissapointment in her eyes even though she spoke gently. He's always hurting her and he hates that, so he decides not to mention that odd flutter he felt when their lips met or the pull he's felt towards her all night. Sometimes it's better, leaving feelings unexplored or examined.

#20 -First love

She's heard is said that one never forgets their first love, and unfortunately she can attest to the absolute truth of that statement. She doesn't think she'll ever forget allowing herself to fall for him, trusting someone with her heart for the first time, just to have the rug pulled out from under her. Not once, but twice.

The absolute betrayal of finding out her first love had been sneaking around with her best friend is a moment she has never forgotten, a moment that has forever made her more cautious about who she allows close enough to attempt to break down all her emotional walls. Finding out that even after forgiving and trying to forget that her trust and faith had again been misplaced has made her wary of giving second chances, of believing people really can change. She can't forget her first love, and there is rarely a moment she doesn't want to.

#21 -Words not spoken

There are a lot of things between them, words not spoken and part of her is sure it is better that way. Speaking her mind would only do harm. Telling him there is a part of her that still loves him, has always, will always love him would only confuse him, make him pity her, and it would hurt Peyton. It would cause a rift in their little group that she does not want to be responsible for.

Letting it slip that there are days where she wants him so much it's all she can do not to reach out and grab him wouldn't do either of them any good. He'd turn her down and effectively end whatever friendship she has left with him and Peyton or he'd grab her, hold her and kiss her in a way she's been longing for since the last time she was with him. Neither option is appealing. In one Lucas & Peyton would end up hating her, in both she'd end up hating herself.

Letting him know that they can never truly be friends would hurt him, disappoint him, especially if she let him know that the reason has nothing to do with their previous relationship(s) or her ever present love for him, but rather is the consequence of her inability to ever truly trust him and believe that she can depend on him. Reveling that there is a part of her that hates and resents him, can't and won't ever forgive him would just start a fight she isn't sure she has the energy for.

So, yeah, there are a lot of words not spoken.

#22 - Spontaneous, Wild, Free, Yearning, Passionate, Inadequate

He and Peyton have been married for a little over a year and things aren't as magical as he thought they'd be. Contrary to what he'd thought, the problems that had plagued their relationship since they were teenagers had not disappeared, but had followed them into their marriage. And as it turns out, love is not enough.

Brooke is always around, visiting Peyton, taking Sawyer out for "girl's days," and much as he tries not to, he can't help but remember the way things used to be between them. He remembers how fun she was, how she would grab him while he was on his way to history class and drag him off for a spontaneous road trip, driving until they saw something, some place that caught their attention. He remembers her wild side that would lead them to strip off their clothes and swim in the moonlight, risk getting caught just so they could make love out under the stars. He remembers her gentle touch and strength that had helped carry him through hard times.

Not that things with Brooke had been perfect. Everything between them had been complicated and passionate. Nothing about their had been easy, they'd had trust issues, personality differences that lead to them both feeling inadequate, and past mistakes that left them feeling both guilty and defensive, but they hadn't let that stop them. Until the moment Brooke had ended it they'd worked at things, talked about what was wrong between them, what they needed to change.

He misses how free he felt with Brooke. How he could yell, make mistakes, be daring, take risks, be honest and still trust that no matter what he said he wouldn't be left alone. And he misses having her there to give it to him straight, not sugar coat things to spare his feelings.

He is married and has a child. His thoughts should not be occupied with his high school girlfriend. He shouldn't be spending his time yearning for a love that ended over five years ago. It's not right, he knows that, but he can't help it, he's not even sure that he wants to.


End file.
